30 Aug 07 Brits
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer and then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
Oh and only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
….. Not to mention….
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control scalextric cars.
and finally………
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
30 Aug 07 It’s Not Friday
Today it feels like Friday. Why? Well up to now it’s been a Monday week – every day has been like a frenzied Monday morning, and although I’ve got a busy day here, the heat is off a little from the past three days. Honestly, I don’t really suffer from that Monday morning thing these days anyway, but I was just using it as a comparison.
Summer is almost officially drawing to a close, although the weather will almost certainly be warm and pleasant enough here through November. Although the evenings get shorter it’s still pleasant enough to go to the beach for some time yet.
In fact the winter months here are the best months for going out walking in the countryside, and I look forward to that. Not that I look forward to winter – I do not enjoy the cold at all – but winters here are short, and there are many days in the 50s and 60s when it’s really good for walking.
29 Aug 07 Twitter Updates for 2007-08-29
- Extremely over-hungry….meeting wenton longer than I expected #
- A cold guinness is great but food will be even better #
- Madra Rua does a good burger…. #
- @brianshaler I could almost sworn it was monday too #
- Another day… Will it be another monday ? #
- @kungfuadam I was so hungry, I didn’t taste it. #
- I read somewhere that one could survive on a diet of Guinness and baked potatoes. #
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