30 Mar 08 Insurance Claim Reports

I know these are old and most of you have probably seen them before but they still raised a smile when I unearthed them today, so I thought I’d share them once more…

•  A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
• My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
• The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
• I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
• The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
• The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him.
•  The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
•  Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
• I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
• I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
• As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
• In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
• I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.
• I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
• I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
• No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
• I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
• The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
• I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
• On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
• No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.
• I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
• The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.
• I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
• The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.

Tags: backside, bush, coming home, ditch, embankment, fly, fractured skull, gentleman, intersection, kangaroos, mother in law, pedestrian, plants, rear end, shopping, stop sign, stray cows, sunroof, telephone pole, traffic