This was a rather tasty dish, at The Telegraph Inn, Putney Heath.

Pork Belly is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

HAPPY FEBRUARY FROM TED’S FEBRUARY MENU HIGHLIGHTS       FEATURED SOUP Smoked Paprika,    Chick Pea and Roasted Garlic $4/8 oz;  $7.50/16 oz  FEATURED PANINI Lemon-Pepper Roasted Chicken, Sundried Tomato Pesto, Dill Havarti, Mixed Greens, Red Onion & Herb Aioli $9   BACON OF THE MONTH Double Smoked Bacon – Nodine’s Smokehouse – Torrington, CT – $12/lb.     IN THE CASE  Our case is stocked with a rotating selection of homemade specialties. Click here to view our current offerings. BUTCHER COUNTER CHALKBOARD SPECIAL   10% off All Ted’s Signature Sausages February Flavors: Mediterranean Sausage with sun-dried tomato & feta – $8/lb   Chinese Duck & Pork Sausage – $11/lb.   Always in stock: Sweet Italian Sausage with Fennel – $7/lb   Breakfast Sausage w/sage & maple syrup – $7/lb   Fresh German Sausage with pork and veal (mild flavor) – $8/lb FEATURED WINES FOR FEBRUARY Underwood Pinot Noir, Oregon – $14   “This offering from Union Wine Co. is the best deal in Oregon pinot noir right now. The fruit for this beauty was sourced from the Umpqua and Rogue valleys in the southern half of the state. A delightful every-night quaffer, it has notes of cherries and spice, with zippy acidity on the finish.” – The Oregonian Valentine Fleur Chenin Blanc,   Vin de Pays, Loire, France  – $11  The Loire Valley in France produces wine from the Chenin Blanc grape that can range in style from a very sweet dessert wine to a light, sparkling wine meant for toasts. This one has no bubbles. It is dry, fruity and has high acidity and a natural minerality that accompanies oysters and shellfish perfectly.     INTRODUCING: TED’S HOUSEMADE SAUSAGES This month, we’re excited to introduce our expanded selection of housemade sausages, available daily at the Butcher Counter. Handmade in-house with top-quality ingredients and a careful selection of spices, our sausages are great for breakfast, lunch and dinner!   Ted’s Signature Sausages: Sweet Italian Sausage w/Fennel – $7/lb Breakfast Sausage w/Sage & Maple Syrup – $7/lb Fresh German Sausage w/Pork & Veal – $8/lb This Month’s Featured Flavors: Mediterranean Sausage w/Sun-dried tomato & feta – $8/lb Chinese Duck & Pork Sausage – $11/lb. VALENTINE’S DAY  CRAFT BEER DINNER  We’ve got the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner alternative. No fighting for reservations at fancy restaurants!  Join us for a very special Valentine’s Day Craft Beer Dinner on Tuesday, February 14 at 7:15 pm, featuring decadent French-inspired dishes from Chef Eva that are sure to impress your special one. To sweeten the pot, the Charleston Beer Exchange will be giving away a ticket to Brewvival on February 25 to one lucky attendee! Cost: $48/person (includes four courses & paired beers). Call (843) 577-0094 for reservations.  Craft Beer Dinner Menu:  ”Faux” Gras and Local Brie Mousse with Pumpkin Ginger Waffle and Apricot Gastrique Duvel Belgian Golden Ale  (served in a champagne flute!)  Maple Brined Duck and Gnocchi with Roasted Heirloom Radish, Thyme Bacon Butter, Radicchio and Green Grocer Fried Egg Bacchus Sour Ale  Pork 3 Ways: Roasted Belly, Petit Porchetta & Rillettes w/Honey-Truffle Turnip; Served with Pear, Sunchoke & Arugula salad w/Raspberry Vinaigrette, Rice Grits & Bourbon Pork Jus New Belgium Frambozen Raspberry Brown Ale Banana Split Cream Puff with Chocolate Kaluha Milkshake, Hazelnut Brittle & White Chocolate Fudge Terrapin Brewing Wake -N-Bake Coffee Oatmeal Imperial Stout Terrapin Brewing Moo – Hoo Chocolate Milk Stout BREWVIVAL AT COAST One of our favorite events of the year, BREWVIVAL, is this month. Join us at Coast Brewery in North Charleston on Saturday, February 25 from 12-6 pm to taste brews from all over the world. These guys put together a really exciting event each year featuring great beers, music and food from yours truly! This year, we will be serving our famous Ted’s BBQ and Kielbasa Sandwiches, perfect for soaking up all that beer in your belly. Hope to see you there! NEW FRIDAY NIGHTS AT TED’S   ARE A HIT!     Everyone is loving our new Friday night format at Ted’s–if you haven’t been in yet, we hope you will join us this month! We’re now offering two dining options to accompany our Friday Night Wine Tasting ($5 for tasting every Friday, 5-7; benefits East Cooper Community Outreach). Charcuterie Platter: $12 A selection from our new housemade pates, sausages, cured meats, olives, cheeses and more. Friday Supper: $14 Each week, Chef Eva puts together a gourmet restaurant-style meal, complete with homemade dessert. If you’ve enjoyed a Friday dinner at Ted’s, you know it’s one of the best deals in town! Dine-in and enjoy these Friday specials from 5-8 pm, and also get a 10% discount on any of the featured wines from the tasting.

Ted’s Butcherblock | 334 East Bay Street | www.tedsbutcherblock.com | 843.577.0094 | Charleston | SC | 29401

 

Happy February from Ted’s is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING..
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP DONKEY.
A deeply unattractive person..

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a ‘black box’

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

* OH-NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You’ve hit ‘reply all’).

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the “hare”.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. Extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there’s actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: ‘Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!’.

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you’re in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* TRAMP STAMP.
Tattoo on a female.

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she’s got 4 buttocks.

Learn New Words is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

CBX Rare Beer Tuesday with Thirsty Dog Bourbon Barrel Cerberus! is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

Dinner

A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. “Oh, no!” she suddenly exclaimed, “Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He’ll be so pissed if it’s not ready on time.”

When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf. She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it.

“Darling, this is the best dinner you’ve made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day.”

Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified. “You’re going to kill him!” they exclaimed!

Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, “You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?”

The wife stoically replied, “I didn’t kill him. He fell off the windowsill while he was licking his ass.”

Cat Wife is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

A cat died and went to Heaven.

God met her at the gates and said, ‘You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.’

The cat thought for a minute and then said, ‘All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.’

God said, ‘Say no more.’ Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, ‘Well, we have had to run all of our lives: From cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.’

God answered, ‘It is done.’ All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow.

God gently awakened the cat and asked, ‘Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?’

The cat replied, ‘Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!’

The Cat is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:

“I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”

“My wife’s.”

”What happened to her?”

“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”

He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”

The man answered, “My mother-in-law.

She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either.”

A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.

“Can I borrow the dog?”

The man replied, “Get in line.”

The Funeral is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while … then said, “You’re

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”

She asks … “What does that mean?”

He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said … “Oh, that’s so lovely … What about I J, K?”

He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K. is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page onthe Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ….

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.
AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.

This Is What The Problem Is All About is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog

Before

I decided it was time to get my locks shorn.

In other words dear reader, get a haircut.

After

So, I shifted my butt to the barbers, and after waiting for about an hour (he was busy),  I got it done.

I had to grab a pint afterwards, as it was a traumatic experience of course.

Other guys reading this will understand – it’s a major operation. Well, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Anyway, I was happy with the result, but ‘er indoors thinks it’s a bit too short at the sides, and too long on top.

Charming, I must say, especially after she got hers cut too, and I paid for it, and I didn’t make disparaging remarks.

Oh, well, never mind. I was upset though, so I had to have another pint.

Before & After is a post from: The Eye An Eyebeemania Blog