How To Help The US Economy

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you buy a computer, it will go to India.
If you buy fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and
Guatemala.
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1 Spending it at yard sales, or
2 Going to ball games, or
3 Spending it on prostitutes, or
4 Beer or
5 Tattoos.
These are the only American businesses still operating in the US.
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So, I’m going to go to a ball game and drink beer with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale.