The Eye
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Another Eye to the World
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30 Jan 12 This Is What The Problem Is All About

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A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page onthe Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ….

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.
AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.

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24 Jan 12 Before & After

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Before

I decided it was time to get my locks shorn.

In other words dear reader, get a haircut.

After

So, I shifted my butt to the barbers, and after waiting for about an hour (he was busy),  I got it done.

I had to grab a pint afterwards, as it was a traumatic experience of course.

Other guys reading this will understand – it’s a major operation. Well, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Anyway, I was happy with the result, but ‘er indoors thinks it’s a bit too short at the sides, and too long on top.

Charming, I must say, especially after she got hers cut too, and I paid for it, and I didn’t make disparaging remarks.

Oh, well, never mind. I was upset though, so I had to have another pint.

 

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22 Jan 12 Hot Dog

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This hot dog from The Lofty Turtle in East Sheen, is rather darn good.

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The sausage comes from Armstrong’s Butchers on Lower Mortgage Road.

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