The Eye

A Lucian Freud painting of a sleeping naked woman has sold in New York for $33.6m, and sets a new record.

I knew I was doing something wrong. Now, all I have to do is work out how to set up lights when She Who Must Be Obeyed has gone to sleep, so I can paint her. If I remember to turn off the air conditioning first, she might even be in the required attire.

However, dear reader, there is no fear I would post my resulting work here. No Siree, I’ll be heading north up I-95 as fast as I can to see how many millions I can raise in The Big Apple.