30 Dec 10 Logically Speaking
Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. he two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
Dave: – I reckon he’s an accountant.
Stuart: – No way – he’s a stockbroker
Dave: – He ain’t no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn’t come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
Dave: – ‘Scuse me…. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: – No offence taken! I’m a Logical Scientist by profession
Dave: – Oh? What’s that then?
Suit: – I’ll try to explain by example … Do you have a goldfish at home?
Dave: – Er … mmm … well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: – Well, it’s logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Dave: – It’s in a pond! Suit: – Well it’s reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then? Dave: – As it happens, yes I have got a big garden..
Suit: – Well then it’s logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Dave: – As it happens I’ve got a five bedroom house ….. built it myself!
Suit: – Well given that you’ve built a five bedroom house it’s logical to assume that you haven’t built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? And witha family?
Dave: – Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.
Suit: – Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Dave: – Yep! Five times a week!
Suit: – Well then it is logical to suggest that you don’t masturbate very often?
Dave: – Do what? Not me, mate!
Suit: – Well there you are! That’s logical science at work!
Dave: – How’s that then?
Suit: – Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I’ve told you about your sex life!
Dave: – I see!
That’s pretty impressive. Thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.
Stuart: – I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Dave: – Yep! He’s a logical scientist! Stuart: – What’s that then?
Dave: – I’ll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Stuart: – Nope
Dave: – Well then, you’re a wanker
Posted via email from Eyebeemania
Tags: accountant, beers, curiosity, goldfish, large garden, occupation, offence, profession, science, scientist, stockbroker, toilet
24 Aug 10 Hop Festival in Faversham
Beer
LIVE music, lively street entertainment, stalls and a steam train will help Faversham celebrate its hop-picking history at the start of next month.
The Faversham Hop Festival, now 20 years old, attracts acts and visitors from around the world, who gather in the streets and pubs of the market town for two days of cultural entertainment and merriment.
The Shepherd Neame Brewery makes an ideal place to sample beer, as not only does the brewery produce outstanding beers, it’s the oldest site in the UK to have continuously produced beer since 1698
Hop over to This Is Kent to read more about this exciting weekend down in the Garden of England
Tags: acts, Beer, beers, brewery, England, garden of england, kent, live music, merriment, pubs, shepherd neame, steam train, street entertainment
03 Aug 10 CBX: Rare Beer Tuesday with Foothills Brewing!
News from the guys at The Charleston Beer Exchange
Today at 5pm, as we do every Tuesday, we are tapping a ridiculously amazing keg on our growler station! This week we’re fired up to have Foothills Bourbon Barrel-Aged People’s Porter! This is an absolutely delicious roasty & creamy porter to start and then it is aged in select, wet Kentucky Bourbon barrels to add beautiful notes of oak and vanilla. This extremely limited, draft only beer is rarely available so don’t miss out!
Upcoming Special Release 22oz “Growler” Program (aka “Rare Bomber Thursday”)
The Charleston Beer Exchange has decided to once again up the ante and launch a new program we are affectionately calling “Rare Bomber Thursday”! As some of you may recall, we have periodically released some our most limited quantity beers in 22oz bomber-style “growlers” to ensure the beer love spreads to as many people as possible. We only do this when the beer meets a strict criteria of being very limited in quantity and only available on draft. These limited small growlers are counter-pressure filled, just the same as many breweries do, to ensure maximum shelf life. “Rare Bomber Thursday” will bring this program to a regular weekly time slot of Thursdays at 5pm. Yes, this is all in addition to our regular “Rare Beer Tuesday” traditional 64oz growler program. At the start of each week, we will announce our “Rare Beer Tuesday” and our “Rare Bomber Thursday” releases in the same email you currently receive as well as on Facebook and Twitter. Nothing else is changing, we’re just bringing you even more beer treasure on a regular basis!
A few answers to frequently asked questions:
-Quantities will still be limited, just less limited. From a small keg, we’ll get 25-30 bomber-style growlers instead 9-10 traditional 64oz growlers. Sometimes there may be a per person limit, sometimes not. Depends on the beer.
-Bottles are counter-pressure filled to ensure a more stable shelf life but we still encourage you to keep them cold and drink them sooner than later.
-We take sanitization and filling technique extremely seriously and strive to provide you with the highest quality product possible. The brewers worked hard to make the beer and it is our job to see that you get to enjoy it unhindered by any poor treatment.
-This program will be in the trial stage for a while. We don’t promise it will last indefinitely the way “Rare Beer Tuesday” has turned out but we have high hopes!
Rare Bomber Thursday (8/5)
Still reading? Thanks! Our inaugural “Rare Bomber Thursday” growler release this Thursday at 5pm will be Ommegang Grand Cru Rouge! In our opinion, this is one of the greatest sour beers ever made. This authentic Flemish Red Ale was aged 18 months in French Oak at Brewery Bockor in Belgium. Sadly, Ommegang’s partnership with Bockor dissolved and this beer has not been made in nearly 2 years. For all intents and purposes, Rouge no longer exists….so come get it while you can!
Remember, you can always see what’s live on our growler station by visiting our website at TheCharlestonBeerExchange.com and clicking “News/Growlers”!
Follow us on Facebook and Twitter for real-time CBX news and updates!
Cheers,
The Charleston Beer Exchange
14 Exchange Street
Charleston, SC 29401
(843) 577-5446
http://www.thecharlestonbeerexchange.com
Tags: beer bottles, beers, bourbon barrels, facebook, foothills brewing, greetings, keg, kentucky bourbon, maximum shelf life, person limit, quantities, rare beer, strict criteria, thursdays, vanilla
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