The Eye
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Another Eye to the World
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07 Sep 09 A Great Interview

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I got sent this via a Yahoo group I belong to. I found it amusing, so I thought I’d share it here.

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it . What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said – "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned. Candidate: No, no… I am talking about Exams!! Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB? Candidate: It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD! Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I gues! s it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hotfixes’, ‘SEI- CMM’,'quality’,'versioncontrol’,'deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much. 1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand. 2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent. 3. I believe in flexi-timings. 4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans. 5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork. 6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS .. :-) )

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23 Apr 09 Happy St. George’s Day

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Have You Got The Bottle? The Irish have St Patrick’s Day; The United States has Indepence Day and the English have St. Georges Day.

St. George is the patron saint of England. This from Wikipedia:

A traditional custom at this time was to wear a red rose in one’s lapel, though with changes in fashion this is no longer common. Another custom is to fly or adorn the St George’s Cross flag in some way: pubs in particular can be seen on April 23 festooned with garlands of St George’s crosses. However, the modern association of the St George’s Cross with sports such as football, cricket and rugby means that this tradition is rare outside this context. It is customary for the hymn “Jerusalem” to be sung in cathedrals, churches and chapels on St George’s Day, or on the Sunday closest to it.

If you don’t have a red rose, then have some honest to goodness English Real Ale instead!


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03 Jan 08 Happy New Spam

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Date MovieWonderful! I have a little pop-up on my computer that tells me when I’ve received new mail. I find it useful, as I can take a look if the email is important, or else I can look at it later. Anyway my pop up just came up with this

“I have received a new email from find-your-dream-date-today@value-savings-now.com.”

I wonder if that is spam?

Perhaps I should answer! Perhaps my budget dream date, bit on the side will share a cup of coffee from the Lil cricket, before getting down to the nasty? It’s only 27p there if you take your own cup! This could be the start of a frugal New Year with benefits. I’m not a tightwad, but I do like value for money, and heck, wouldn’t a total expenditure of 27p be a dream date for just about anyone? I wonder if I’d get a discount for two?

Oh yes, as it’s my birthday today, it could be a present to myself!

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