11 Mar 12 Sleep Patterns.
Why do I want to sleep when I can’t, and can’t sleep when I want to?
While it’s true that shift work doesn’t help, I’ve always been the same, even when I had a 9-5 job, and even when I worked for myself at home each day.
Over active mind that’s my problem.
I refuse to take sleeping pills and the like. Drinking is not an option, as I have to drive the following day. Anyway, I don’t want to drink every day, and in my experience it degrades sleep when it does come. I wake up needing the bathroom, and perhaps with a mild headache too, that means I don’t sleep anymore that night.
OK, now I’ve spent the last few minutes telling you how wide awake I am, I am feeling sleepy – at least until I put the laptop down….
Tags: few minutes, mild headache, shift work, sleep patterns, sleeping pills, twelve hours
24 Nov 11 The Bad Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
Tags: bad attitude, desperation, dramatic change, few minutes, freezer, outstretched arms, peep, polite words, profanity, rude language, soft music, transgressions, turkey, vocabulary, young man
29 Sep 11 My Friend & His New Pet
Today, I thought I’d put my foot in it, and tell you the story of how a friend of mine tried to liven up his mundane solitary life a little. This little tale might brighten up your day too, and bring a smile to your face. Read on…
A single friend of decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion,he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to the pub with me today? We will have a good time.”
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, “How about going to the pub with me and tasting some beer?”
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede’s house and shouted, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the pub with me and learn about craft beer?”
….
This time, a little voice came out of the box, “I heard you the first f***** time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
Tags: centipede, craft beer, few minutes, good time, little voice, new friend, new pet, one last time, pet store, shoes, smile, solitary life
