27 Dec 11 Sunday Afternoon ‘Quickie’
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon ‘quickie’ with their 8-year old son in the flat was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
‘There’s a car being towed from the car park,’ he shouted.
‘An ambulance just drove by!’
‘Looks like the Andersons have company,’ he called out.
‘Matt’s riding a new bike!’
‘Looks as if the Sanders are moving!’
‘Jason is on his skate board!
After a few moments he announced, ‘The Coopers are screwing!!’
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!
Dad cautiously called out, ‘How do you know they’re screwing?’
‘Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar’.
Tags: andersons, few moments, mars bar, mum and dad, street activities, sunday afternoon
11 Dec 10 True Story or Urban Myth?
Doreen, aged 79, finished all the shopping on her weekly list at the local supermarket. She walked determinedly towards her car which she had left in the car park. There she saw four youths about to drive away in her car. Doreen became agitated and dropping her shopping to the ground, she drew a handgun from her bag and screamed as loud as her lungs would allow at the four miscreants, “I have a gun and I know how to use it. Get out of the car you horrible little men.”The four lads didn’t wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran helter-skelter as far away as they could, whereupon Doreen, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver’s seat. As hard as Doreen tried she could not get her key into the ignition. Then it began to dawn on her why.
She came across her own car a few moments later in another row near by. Putting her bags now, into her own car, she drove hesitantly to the nearest Police Station. As Patricia was recounting the tale to the Duty Sergeant she wondered why he kept giggling and smiling. Eventually he pointed to the end of the counter where dear old dizzy Doreen saw four young lads, faces extremely pale, who were describing how a little old lady, some 5 foot tall, wearing glasses and with grey hair had stolen their car by waving a gun at them.
Doreen was not charged with anything.
Tags: car park, duty sergeant, email, few moments, four lads, glasses, grey hair, handgun, little men, little old lady, lungs, miscreants, own car, police station, second invitation, shopping bags, supermarket, true story, urban myth, young lads
25 May 08 Easy Like Sunday Morning
I got up around seven something. I don’t know exactly, I didn’t look at the clock too hard, but it was after seven and before eight. OK, I checked my IRC log, as I know I went in there first thing. It was 07.28 so I must have got up a few moments before that.
Anyway, I made some coffee, and continued with some of my system housekeeping here. Still trying to fight off this darn cold, which at times makes the little men hammer in my head. No, it’s not a hangover – not a drop has passed my lips in almost two weeks, so I know it’s not the demon drink!
I’m never hungry when I first get up, well very very seldom, but I am after a couple of hours. So I headed to the kitchen and, as it was Sunday, I thought I’d have something cooked – usually I’ll eat a bit of fruit, or have a slice of toast or two.
So I made a bacon sandwich, and then realized the bread had nearly all gone, so while the bacon was cooking in the George Foreman, I got some bread started. That only takes five minutes, and then the machine does the rest for the next three hours.
Tags: bacon sandwich, brown sauce, clock, coffee, darn cold, demon, few moments, fresh bread, george foreman, hammer, hangover, home made bread, housekeeping, irc log, lips, little men, tak, toast
