26 Feb 11 Sheepish
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, ‘If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?’
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables. He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ”You have exactly 1,586 sheep.’
The shepherd cheers, ‘That’s correct, you can have your sheep.’
The young man takes one of the animals from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche.
The shepherd looks at him and asks, ‘If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?’
The young man answers, ‘Yes, why not?’
The shepherd says, ‘You are an auditor.’
‘How did you know?’ asks the young man.
‘Very simple,’ answers the shepherd. ‘Firstly, you came here without being wanted. Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew. Thirdly, you don’t understand anything about my business….. Now can I have my dog back?’
photo credit: PedalFreak
Tags: armani suit, cheers, flock, gps, laptop, man answers, mini printer, mobile fax, nasa, nasa website, photo credit, pierre cardin, pivot tables, porsche, profession, ray ban sunglasses, sheep, tag heuer, wrist watch, young man
08 Oct 09 Robbery By GPS
I received this in an email, and decided to post this, as it could well be something worth thinking about, don’t you think?
A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard.
When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.
The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents..
Something to consider if you have a GPS – don’t put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen.
12 Jan 09 Out Of Town
It’s the first time we’ve had the opportunity to get out of town for a weekend for a long time, and as we were looking forward to meeting up with our friends again anyway, it was good to get away.
No, we didn’t fly anywhere. It was only 100 miles, well that’s what the GPS said, but the odometer was around 93 when we turned up the drive.
Well it’s not really a drive, it’s across the field. It was dark so I was very careful in case there where any landmines. Not real landmines but enormous great holes to bottom out on. There weren’t though.
We got there in pretty good time, after stopping for some food and drink on the way.
I almost always forget something, and this time was no exception. I got out the camera, and I’d forgotten to put the SD card in the darn thing. (when I got back home, I found I’d left it on the living room table). So all the photos that I took, were with my Blackberry, which is ok in good light – for a cellphone at least.
It was quite dark, so we just enjoyed a snack, and a few beers, and turned in for the night.
The next day we took a short walk down to the Pee Dee River, which is about a mile away. It was a most pleasant afternoon, and it was good to be able to walk around in the countryside. Much as I enjoy living in Charleston, I always prefer the country to the city.
We got back home, and grilled out in the evening. Pork chops and a hearty salad went down a real treat after that walk.
Sunday, we went into Pamplico for brunch, and had some excellent ham and friend chicken, accompanied by cabbage, and beans. It was an ‘eat all you can’ buffet, so I did.
Slight panic on the way home. We were low on gas, and we seemed to drive for miles and miles before we found a gas station that was open, and in the process we took a wrong turning, but it didn’t really take us too far out of our way. Only downside was that it made us too late to get to the Amazon Grill in Goose Creek for the Lowcountry Bloggers meetup, before everyone else went home!
All in all, it was, of course, good to spend time with good friends, and it was good to take some real chill out time and relax. I actually didn’t sit at a computer all day on Saturday, which is a first for me for a long time!
Tags: beers, blackberry, cellphone, fly, food and drink, fried chicken, good time, gps, holes, landmines, living room, long time, odometer, pamplico, photos, sc, sd card, snack
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