02 Jun 12 Operating Table
Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’
The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.’
The third surgeon says, ‘No, I really think Librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’
The fourth surgeon chimes in, ‘You know I like Construction Workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.’
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts – the mouth and the arsehole – and they are interchangeable’
Tags: accountants, arsehole, balls, brains, construction workers, guts, heart, job, moving parts, spine, those guys
25 Jul 10 Medical Distinction
We’ve all heard about people having guts or having balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’
BALLS is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt, and having the balls to say: ‘You’re next, Chubby.’
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome…both result in death.
Tags: balls, broom, butt, coming home, confusion, death, definitions, distinction, guts, lipstick on your collar, perfume
