08 Nov 09 What’s An HMO: Your Questions Answered
Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “HEY MOE. ” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories – those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don’t worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day’s drive away, and a diploma from a Third World country.
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You’ll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
Q. What if I’m away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn’t do that.
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you’re risking is the $20 co-payment, there’s no harm in giving him a shot at it.
Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No. But if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
Tags: healthcare, hmo, pre-existing conditions
12 Sep 09 The High Cost Of Healthcare Costs Lives
Many years ago, before you were born, Short Horn Bill wandered into town up in Montana Territory for the first time in three years. Bill’s health had declined rapidly and, hearing that a new doctor had taken up residence, he had determined to see if anything could be done before it was too late. Unfortunately, being a confirmed miser, Bill quickly adjudged the physician’s fees as outrageous and refused both treatment and payment.
Back on the street, Bill ventured into a store and was attracted by a sign advertising the latest miracle cures known to science, contained in a single book. With book in hand, Bill launched into a program of self-help to relieve his ailments.
Some months later, the doctor encountered the store-keeper and the two engaged in conversation. The talk quickly turned to Short Horn Bill: "Doc, do you remember that old fellow who stopped at your office last year and refused treatment because your fees are too high?"
"Yes, I hear he bought a medical book and decided to be his own physician," affirmed the doctor. "Why?"
"Well, he died the other day."
"I’m not surprised to hear it," came the reply. "What was the cause of death?"
"A misprint."
Tags: healthcare, medical book, miracle cures, physicians fees
04 Jul 08 NHS turns 60
NHS Turns 60 from Ian May on Vimeo.
Tags: healthcare, Labour, national health service, NHS, UK News
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