10 Feb 10 Hypnotic Sex
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?”
His wife replies, “My friend Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat “I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache..” It Worked! The headaches are all gone.”
The husband replies, “Well, that is wonderful.”
His wife then says, “You know, you haven’t been exactly a Ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?”
The husband agrees to try it
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”
The husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.”
He goes back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, “She’s not my Wife. She’s Not my wife. She’s not my wife…”
His funeral service will be held on Friday.
Tags: husband and wife, hypnotic, hypnotic sex, sex, wife
17 Sep 09 The Letters
HUSBAND’S LETTER
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:
‘To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don’t be upset – I shall be back home before midnight.’
When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:
WIFE`S LETTER
‘To My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you’re at the Comfort Inn, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the Assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 18 years old.
As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference;
18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.’
Tags: husband and wife, math, virility
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