01 Feb 11 Council Employment
| A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office.
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine.” “Have you ever worked for the public service before?” “Yes, I was in the army.” he says, “I was in Iraq for two tours.” The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The guy says, “Yes. A mine exploded near me when I was there and I lost both of my testicles”. The interviewer grimaces and then says, “O.K.. You’ve got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm… …but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am – and carry on starting at 10.00am every day.” The bloke is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don’t you want me here until 10.00am? I’m not looking for “What you have to understand is that this is a council job,” the interviewer says, “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our nuts. There’s no point in you coming in for that.” |
Tags: army, bloke, extra points, grimaces, interviewer, iraq, job, local council, nuts, testicles, two tours
10 Aug 08 I’m Voting Democrat
I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I’m voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I’m voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
I’m voting Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don’t have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don’t want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.
I’m voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my horse.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 8 % on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
Makes ya wonder how anyone would EVER vote Republican, now doesn’t it?
Tags: agendas, babies, bad guys, constitution, death row inmates, democrat, few days, freedom of speech, gallon of gas, guns, iraq, job, kooks, liberals, oil companies profits, polar ice caps, prius, redistribution, slaughter, terrorists
24 Oct 07 The True Cost Of War
Did you know that the head of Blackwater, the security firm that has been in the news lately for shooting incidents in Iraq, earns $1.5m a year? The leading US General in Iraq (who is actually out there), gets $330K a year.
The average Blackwater employee in Iraq gets $600 a day. The average new soldier in Iraq gets around $85. I can’t help but wonder how much lobbying these security firms do to prolong such conflicts?
Tags: 5m, blackwater, conflicts, incidents, iraq, security firm, security firms, soldier
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