13 Dec 10 The Fishing Store
A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday.
She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter.
The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
She says, “Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”
He says, “Madam, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need
to know about it from the sound it makes.”
She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, “That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb.Test line.
It’s a good all around combination, and it’s actually on sale this week for £44.”
She says, “That’s amazing that you can tell all that, just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
“Oh, that sounds like a Visa card,” he says.
As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts.
At first she’s really embarrassed, but then realises there is no way the blind salesman would tell exactly who had farted.
The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be £58.50 please.”
The woman is totally confused by this and asks,
“Didn’t you tell me it was on sale for £44. How did you get £58.50?”
“The Duck Caller is £11, and the Fish Bait is £3.50.”
Tags: credit card, dark shades, duck caller, excuse, fish bait, fishing, graphite rod, lb test line, madam, rod and reel, shakespeare, visa card, zebco
04 Feb 08 The Fourth Mariage
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color are you looking for?”
The bride to be said: “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature is considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?”
“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel.My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
“What about your third husband?” asked the sales clerk.
“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.”
Tags: bridal shop, brides, democrat, directness, GOP, gowns, honeymoon, limo, madam, peeved, primary 2008, sales clerk, sky blue, three times, time bride, veil, wedding gown, white dress, white gown, wrong way
