23 Dec 11 Married Bliss
A married couple had been out shopping for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realised that her husband had disappeared.
Somewhat irate she called her Husband’s mobile phone and demanded, “Where the hell are you?”
Her husband replied, “Darling, you remember that Jewellery shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and i didn’t have the money that time and i said, ‘Baby it’ll be yours one day!’”
The wife, with a smile, blushing: “Yes i remember that, my love”
“Well”, said the husband. “I’m in the Pub next to that shop”.
Tags: diamond necklace, married bliss, married couple, mobile phone, realised, shopping
26 Mar 09 Old Fart Football
n old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’
His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’
The old man replied, ‘It’s fart football.’
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says ‘Touchdown, tie score.’
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
‘Touchdown, tie score.’
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable,he gives it everything he’s got,
and accidentally shits in the bed.
The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’
The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides.
Tags: fart, few minutes, field goal, five minutes, hell, married couple, old man, pillows, rips, seven points, squeaker, strains, switch sides, tie score, time switch, touchdown
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