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Ian May

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An Old Boy’s Advice

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Your fences need to be Horse-high, pig-tight And bull-strong.

Keep skunks And bankers And lawyers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow Around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than A John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered… Not yelled.

Meanness Don’t jes’ Happen Overnight.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up Their heads.

Do not corner something That you know is Meaner than you.

It don’t take A very big person To carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay A cruel, Or unkind word.

Every path has A few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, Expect to get dirty.

The best sermons Are lived, Not preached.

Most of the stuff People worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don’t judge folks By their relatives.

Remember that silence Is sometimes The best answer.

Live a good, Honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, You’ll enjoy it A second time.

Don’t interfere With somethin’ That ain’t botherin’ You none.

Timing has A lot to do with The outcome Of a rain dance.

If you find yourself In a hole, The first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, And sometimes You get got.

The biggest troublemaker You’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink Upstream From the herd.

Good judgment comes from Experience, and a lotta that comes from Bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat Outta the bag is a whole lot easier Than puttin’ it back in.

If you get to thinkin’ You’re a person Of some influence, Try orderin’ Somebody else’s Dog around.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest Up to God.

Up!

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There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

Aye! It's Grim, LadWe call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP , so………. . it is time to shut UP…..!