It’s something I often find difficult. I don’t want a blog post title to lie, but I do want it to catch the potential reader’s eye. I dislike some of the puerile titles you often see in tabloid newspapers, but of course they’re done for that very reason – so that potential buyers will snap up a copy of the rag. I do feel that they’re often aiming to be a comic and not a newspaper though, and going for the lowest common denominator of reader. I suppose that sounds snobbish. Anyway, while I want to attract readers, I don’t want anyone to feel that my blog is like a tabloid. God forbid.
Still, that kind of approach works. One of my most read posts is simply of a picture, and it’s titled ‘See Your Mom Naked‘
Perhaps there are many perverts out there, or it’s just plain curiosity. Anyway, it’s not at all pornographic. It’s simply a picture of a boy looking shocked at a computer screen. You can’t see the screen. It’s all suggestion. Anyway, it’s been on my blog for the best part of a couple of years now, and still gets hits almost every day. Now if I could write good content, and good titles every time, I’d be onto a real winner, instead of having a hobbyist blog!
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O..
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand ?
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Tags: axe, brother, chemical formula for water, cherry tree, composition, crocodile, father didn, george washington, good cook, letter of the alphabet, map, math, millie, mom, multiplication, north america, prayers, teacher john, who discovered america
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about..”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”
Tags: anticipation, behavior modification, carpet, circle of life, clean underwear, dirt, envy, foresight, fortunate children, Humor, hypocrisy, irony, logic, medical science, million times, mom, mother, mum, spinach, stamina, tornado, weather