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By Eyebee, on August 5th, 2008
 
- Ride the bus if you can. That’s the biggest gas saver of all!
- Chill out! I’ve found over and over again, that driving like a bat out of hell is not only more likely to get you a ticket, get you in an accident, raise your blood pressure and stress levels, but it wastes gas, and wears out the car quicker! Driving at a constant speed can lower your gas mileage by up to 33% on the highway, which is over a $1 a gallon right now!
- I know McCain has been making fun of Obama about it, but keeping your tires at the correct pressure, can save you another 3%, or about ten cents on the gallon.
- Another 10% can be had by making sure your air filter isn’t clogged.
- Get rid of all the stuff in your car that you don’t need. You can save another 1% on your fuel for every 50lbs of excess weight you dump. No, that doesn’t mean making the mother-in-law walk.
- Don’t be idle. It’s reckoned that standing with the engine running costs over $70 billion in wasted gas in the US alone.
- On the highway use cruise control, to maintain a constant speed but on hilly terrain don’t.
- Don’t waste money on premium gas. Most cars, trucks and SUVs simply don’t need it. It won’t make your car go faster. It’s simply wasting money.
- Be sure and use the correct oil for your engine.
- As well as driving at a constant speed, try and keep your speed down. It varies from car to car, and model to model but generally speaking, gas mileage decreases rapidly at speeds above 60 mph. As a general rule, every 5 mph you go over 60 costs an extra thirty cents per gallon.
- Remember to check the gas tank cap! If you don’t close the cap correctly, you gas could be simply evaporating into thin air!
By Eyebee, on March 30th, 2008
I know these are old and most of you have probably seen them before but they still raised a smile when I unearthed them today, so I thought I’d share them once more…
- A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
- My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
- The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
- I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
- The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
- The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him.
- The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
- Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
- I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
- I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
- I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
- As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
- In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
- I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.
- I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
- I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
- No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
- I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
- The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
- I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
- On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
- No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.
- I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
- The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.
- I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
- An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
- The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.
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