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15 Jan 11 Helping The UK Economy

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Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by spending your money wisely:

* If you spend your money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka .

Eyebee* If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in the UK by:

1) Spending it at car boot sales, or

2) Going to night clubs, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or whisky or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. )

Conclusion:

Be patriotic – go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night.

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

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27 Jan 08 Stella Awards

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These are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S.

In second position this year:

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night
club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was
trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000….oh,
yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

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