29 Dec 08 A Common Language? Don’t Make Me Laugh!

I get The Daily Telegraph as one of my RSS Feeds.

Just before Christmas there was an article in it fromToby Harnden, the papers US Editor commenting on the ten most annoying ‘Americanisms’

I’ve always found language fascinating, and whilst I don’t pretend to be an expert, I do make an attempt to speak and write in a reasonable manner.

Firstly, I read the whole article, and the comments with amusement. It passed the time, but it’s not really something I get worked up about.

Someone correct me if I am wrong, but as I see it, there is no definitive English Language, any more than there is in other languages. Cultures and customs mean that any language spoken in a different part of its own native country has different meanings, with different colloquialisms, let alone when you put an ocean in the way!

American English isn’t right, nor is British English. They are just different. As I touched on above there isn’t a definitive American or British English in any case. In both the US, and the UK, Northerners and Southerners each complain about how the other half of the country has bastardized the language.

I did pick out a few examples though, of words or phrases that have tripped me up in the past, or occasionally still do, or those I find amusing in some way.

I will reiterate that I don’t really find any of them annoying as such, and don’t get stressed about such things as long as we can all ultimately understand each other, what does it matter? Language has its snobs like everything else in life.

Some British words and expressions can lead to mirth and misunderstanding the US. A Brit wouldn’t blink twice if you told him or her you were going outside to smoke a fag. I might however suggest that quitting cigarettes might be benificial to your health.

Two Britons were recently arrested and tried in Dubai for having a shag on a beach there, but here in South Carolina, there are banners above the roadways at certain times of the year suggesting that you might like to try doing just that next Saturday Night.

Tell an Englishman to put his fanny on that chair over there, and he’s likely to tell you he hasn’t got a fanny, as in the UK, a fanny is what a lady has down there in front, not what both sexes have to sit on.

Some of the comments in response to the Daily Telegraph article had me smiling. An American complained that the British overuse the word ‘Brilliant’. I’d have to come right back at him, and say that Americans in general grossly overuse the word ‘Awesome’. To me awesome means something that really and truly is mind-blowing, totally takes my breath away; in other words to me, it’s the most superlative superlative. A gorgeous sunset over the ocean or mountains can be awesome, but to say the weather is awesome just because the sun is shining is, in my view, an overuse.

The old chestnut of ‘restroom’, ‘bathroom’ ‘comfort station’ came up. Brits find that annoying apparently. Again I find it amusing. It’s avoiding mention of the actual use of course, but the British do the same with different words ‘lavatory’, ‘toilet’, or my personal favorite, ‘bog’, none of which are ‘spot on’ in their meaning.

I recently got pulled up by someone over my use of words ending in ‘t’ that aren’t used in American English, such as ‘spelt’, learnt’ and ‘whilst’.

While I think I spelled the words correctly in the first place, I think I learned from that; another difference between American and British English.

There was discussion over the use of ‘z’ and ‘s’ in the context of ‘-ise’ or ‘-ize’. I have to say that using a ‘z’ seems more logical to me, as it’s more of a ‘z’ sound as we would say summarize (summer eyes) whereas summarise would really lend itself to be pronounced as summer ice would it not? Go figure!

The extra ‘u’ in British English words does seem to be superfluous, but it’s surely a hangover from the French influence in British English. It’s no big deal is it? I obviously use an American English dictionary on my computers, and I sometimes get knit-picking about the loss of them.

My natural response to ‘What’s Up?’ is ‘Nothing!” which usually gets a bewildering look. You see, to a Brit, ‘What’s up?’ means ‘What’s wrong, or what’s the matter?” so usually, hopefully, the reply is in the negative.

The British do tend to use ‘mate’ a lot, even if the person being addressed isn’t a ‘mate’; in fact, they might be a complete stranger. I don’t see that really being much different to using the word ‘buddy’ though, which in the US can signify friendship of varying levels.

Now, talking of friends, I don’t mind if you come visit or come round. Either way, bring some cold beer. You’re hungry too?

Now whereas a Brit might get dinner sorted, a southerner in the US, might go fix it instead, even though it’s not broken. As long we all understand what each other is ‘on about’.

As for the cutlery, I really don’t care if you use a knife, fork, spoon, or eat with your fingers. I used to find it amusing watching folks in a restaurant ‘cutting’ food with the edge of a fork they were holding in the ‘wrong’ hand, but heck, I do it myself now too.

As for pronounciation, I will agree that sometimes Brits can be lazy with words, such as saying libree, instead of Library. Why do Brits call a Dune, a ‘June”, or say Choose day for Tuesday? Again it’s not really wrong, it’s just how it is though. That leads to me one I can’t understand in the US. Americans tend to speak words as they spelled (or spell them as they’re pronounced), so what is with the ‘erbs? There’s an ‘h’ there!

Oh I’m all for the person that commented about the British mentality of infantalizing celebrities names. While a fair number of celebrities seem to act like infants, it’s not really something that the British themselves have started, but the infantile Murdoch-Owned tabloid publications like ‘The Sun’ (which has a reading level of age 8). Murdoch himself is an Australian of course, but that’s perhaps for another posting!