22 Feb 10 Gossip
My Name is Gossip — Kara Williams
My name is Gossip.
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious,
and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society, young or old.
My victims are helpless against me,
for I have no face or real name.
To track me down is impossible,
and the harder you try, the more elusive i become.
I am nobody’s friend.
Like me or not,
you know me better than you know them.
I tarnish reputations with ease,
and a life is never quite the same once I’m through.
I topple governments,
wreck marriages, and ruin careers.
I cause sleepless nights, heartache,
and even indigestion.
I spawn suspicion, and generate grief.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
My very name hisses.
I am called Gossip.
Office Gossip, Studio Secrecy,
Hallway Rumors, and the “news” of a party.
I make your headlines..and headaches!
so…
Before you repeat a story, ask yourself:
Is it TRUE?
Is it FAIR?
Is it NECESSARY?
If not, SHUT UP!!
Tags: governments, grief, headaches, headlines, heartaches, hearts, indigestion, innocent people cry, pillows, reputation, ruin careers, ruin lives, sleepless nights, suspicion, wreck marriages
26 Mar 09 Old Fart Football
n old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’
His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’
The old man replied, ‘It’s fart football.’
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says ‘Touchdown, tie score.’
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
‘Touchdown, tie score.’
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable,he gives it everything he’s got,
and accidentally shits in the bed.
The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’
The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides.
Tags: fart, few minutes, field goal, five minutes, hell, married couple, old man, pillows, rips, seven points, squeaker, strains, switch sides, tie score, time switch, touchdown
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