08 Jan 11 Obsession
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. ‘You all have obsessions, he observed.’
To the first mother, Mary, he said, ‘You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.’
He turned to the second Mom, Ann, ‘Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.’
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, ‘Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child’s name, Brandy.’
At this point, the fourth Mother, Kathy, quietly got up,took her little boy by the hand and whispered, ‘Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he’s talking about. Lets pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.’
Tags: alcohol, ATI, brandy, bs, dick, dinner, group therapy, money, mother, obsession, peter, Psychiatrist, school, willy, you
14 Nov 09 The 11th Husband
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to “Please be gentle;
I’m still a virgin.”
“What ?” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be..
“Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he’d look into it and get back with me.
“Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
“Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver..
“Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
“Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
“Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
“Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
“Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it..
“Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was……….. God I miss him !!
“But now that I’ve married you, I’m so excited”..
“Wonderful”, said the husband, “but why ?
“You’re with the ” GOVERNMENT “. ..
“This time I KNOW I’M gonna get SCREWED.”
Tags: 11th husband, administration, engineer, field services, government, Gynecologist, Marketing, Psychiatrist, sales rep, software services, Stamp Collector, telemarketing
