10 Feb 10 Hypnotic Sex
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?”
His wife replies, “My friend Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat “I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache..” It Worked! The headaches are all gone.”
The husband replies, “Well, that is wonderful.”
His wife then says, “You know, you haven’t been exactly a Ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?”
The husband agrees to try it
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”
The husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.”
He goes back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, “She’s not my Wife. She’s Not my wife. She’s not my wife…”
His funeral service will be held on Friday.
Tags: husband and wife, hypnotic, hypnotic sex, sex, wife
25 Mar 09 Fast Sex
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute,
really hot girl in his office… But she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said,
I’ll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you…
The girl looked at him, and then said, ‘NO!’
Eddie said, ‘I’ll be real fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor,
you bend down and I’ll finish by the time you’ve picked it up.’
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.
So she called him and explained the situation.
Her boyfriend says, ‘Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast.
He won’t even be able to get his pants down.’
She agreed and accepts the proposal.
Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend’s call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, ‘What happened…?’
Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
‘The bastard had all quarters!’
Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposition in its entirety
before agreeing to it and getting screwed.
Tags: bastard, business proposition, girlfriend, half an hour, hot girl, money, proposal, quarters management, sex
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