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Ian May

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Advice From A Retired Husband

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It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Terri. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I’m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take ‘em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri. I?m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile After all; we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,
Jim

EDITOR’S NOTE:
Jim died suddenly on February 7 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer lying nearby. His wife Terri was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Jim, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

The Whole Business

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It always makes me smile when some folks think that working for yourself must be so wonderful. To a large extent it is, but on the other side of the fence, you have, at least in a small business, the tasks of being the boss, with the responsibilities that it brings, and also the worker, at the same time. Well not at exactly the same time but well, I’m sure you get my drift.

Here's looking at you It must be great not having a boss they say. Well yes in a way it is, but in another way, you have as many bosses as you have clients, and the art is letting them all think they are #1, which is, of course, not possible at all times, so you try to become adept at prioritization.

Do I have favorites? You bet I do! Some clients are great to work with, and some are the pits. Thing is, the ones that are the pits still write a check, so you have to tend to them too.Also you never know if your favorite clients will still be here to be clients at all, particularly in the present climate, so it often pays to hold onto some of those pain in the rear ones, that in a more buoyant economic climate you might let go.

Some are willing to pay more than others, and while there is a bottom line, I don’t believe in overcharging either, even if, in some cases you can get away with it. I like to think I’m ethical about my dealings, even if some of those I deal with are not.

Anyway, it’s 9am as I write, and it’s off to do some more of the daily wheeling and dealing out there!