After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while … then said, “You’re
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”
She asks … “What does that mean?”
He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
She smiled happily and said … “Oh, that’s so lovely … What about I J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
|A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office.
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”
He replies, “Yes, caffeine.”
“Have you ever worked for the public service before?”
The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.”
Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”
The guy says, “Yes. A mine exploded near me when I was there and I lost both of my testicles”.
The interviewer grimaces and then says, “O.K.. You’ve got enough points for me to take you on right away.
Our normal hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm… …but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am – and carry on starting at 10.00am every day.”
The bloke is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don’t you want me here until 10.00am? I’m not looking for
“What you have to understand is that this is a council job,” the interviewer says,
“For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our nuts.
There’s no point in you coming in for that.”