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24 Nov 11 The Bad Parrot

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Here's Looking At YouA young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.  John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The  parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.  Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.  The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.  I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

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12 Dec 07 British Christmas Dinner Facts

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Turkey has become the “traditional” Christmas Dinner in the UK.

On average, people eat Christmas dinner with six to seven other people

Men are more likely to carve, serve the drinks or relax while women are still the most likely to cook

About 58% buy fresh turkey, 26% buy a frozen one

This year Brits are likely to eat 15,000 tonnes of Brussels sprouts – equivalent in weight to 37 jumbo jets

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