07 Apr 11 Tolio
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing.
When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, ‘What’s wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.
‘I had tolio as a child,’ he answered.
‘You mean polio?’ she asked.
‘No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked
‘What’s wrong with your knees? They’re all lumpy and deformed!
‘As a child, I also had kneasles,’ he explained.
‘You mean measles?’ she asked.
‘No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
‘Don’t tell me,’ she said.
‘Let me guess…
Smallcox?
Tags: bridegroom, champagne, first night, honeymoon, knees, measles, polio, socks, strange illness, toes, underwear, young couple
06 Jan 11 Raining In London
No surprise there you may say. London, and the UK has a reputation as a ‘rainy place’.
When I was in Charleston in South Carolina, on the east coast of the United States, I would often have people say to me that England is where it rains all the time.
Well, I used to put Charlestonians right and point out that the annual rainfall in Charleston is, at around 52 inches a year, a little over double that of London at about 25 inches.
The good people of Charleston were often surprised to hear about hose pipe and car washing bans in the south-east of England too.
Well, today in this part of London at least, it’s raining. Even so, it’s not raining heavily. No Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s not Charleston rain, when you get soaked through to your underwear dashing across the parking lot from store to car. No, it’s London rain, which is often not more than heavy drizzle.
It’s milder today anyway, so that was a bonus. Anyway, I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so out in it I had to go.
I donned coat and cap, and set out. The surgery is only about 5 minutes walk from here in any case, and I am enjoying being able to walk to most of the local amenities once again. It’s not a mile and a half to the nearest 7-11 anymore!
Anyway, I’ve been in London now for six weeks, and in that time, it’s snowed twice for about four hours each, and there’s been just two rainy days. So much for it raining all the time!
Tags: amenities, annual rainfall, appointment, bonus, drizzle, east coast, England, hosepipe, ladies and gentlemen, london rain, parking lot, raining all the time, rainy days, reputation, six weeks, South Carolina, surprise, underwear, united states
