04 Jan 11 Primark Man
“If you’re going to spend money on clothes, you should buy one very good-quality thing rather than filling your trolley to the gag reflex point in Primark”‘.
OK. I’ll admit it. In fact I’ll do even more than that. I’m proud of it. What?
That I am the typical Primark Man. I feel it’s a job well done, if I come out with a trolley full of clothes and change out of 50 quid.
In the US, a similar exercise can be undertaken in Wal-Mart, Kmart, or Target.
“Look!” I have declared. “I’ve got all this for only this much!”
My idea of dressing up is putting on a shirt with a collar and a pair of ten quid trousers, and wearing my only pair of shoes instead of canvas ones or sandals. I dress for comfort you see, as well as being frugal about it. I know I don’t look as outrageous as some guys I see about, but OK, I’ll admit that I don’t look stylish either.
Isn’t that for those that have lots of money to spend on these things? I have noticed that some people I know will spend a tidy sum on new clothes, but then eat cheap junk food. Surely, I’m more sensible to spend much less on clothes, and fill my stomach with better quality food?
Perhaps, just perhaps I should tip the scales at least a little more. It’s a New Year. A new job is on the horizon in a new location. Perhaps I should celebrate, when the pennies start rolling in again, by getting myself a little pampering. A new hair style, and at least a few decent items for my wardrobe?
Now, I don’t want to festoon my body with designer labels. I’m still not convinced that they necessarily mean quality, and a poseur I am not. Designer labels only mean something to others that follow such things. I’ve never even heard of half of these names. No, if I am to invest in a new wardrobe, it has to be quality above anything else, as well as looking good.
Anyway, you may ask, why this article at all? It’s just so not like me is it?
I’ll fess up. I got a little inspiration from this article in the Guardian today.
Check it out, and tell me what you think. Should I continue being a proud Primark person, or should I go a little upmarket this year?
Tags: cheap junk, designer labels, gag reflex, junk food, kmart, little inspiration, lots of money, new hair style, new job, new location, pennies, poseur, primark, quality food, sandals, target, tidy sum, trolley, wal-mart, wardrobe
18 May 09 Visiting Wal-Mart Down The Ages
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house: mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever.
You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on.
You know the outfit – shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20′s:
- Stop what you are doing.
- Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.
- Check yourself in the mirror and flex.
- Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.
- You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30′s:
- Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.
- Change shoes.
- You married the hot chick so no need for much else.
- Wash your hands and comb your hair.
- Check yourself in the mirror.
- Still got it.
- Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
- The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40′s:
- Stop what you are doing.
- Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
- Put on different shoes and a hat.
- Wash your hands.
- Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart.
- Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.
- The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is 20 spicy.
In your 50′s:
- Stop what you are doing.
- Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.
- Change shoes because you don’t want to get dirt in your new sports car.
- Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.
- The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
- Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer 20Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms .’
In your 60′s:
- Stop what you are doing.
- No need for a hat anymore
- Hose the dog poop off your shoes.
- The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50′s.
- You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you pants.
- The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70′s:
- Stop what you are doing.
- Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too.
- Don’t even notice the dog poop on your shoes
- The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80′s:
- Stop what you are doing.
- Start again.
- Then stop again.
- Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart.
- Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.
- Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name
- You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
Tags: DIY, home improvment, hot chick, Humor, spicy girl, wal-mart
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