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Ian May

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When I Was A Kid

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Teatime!When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears  with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were  growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill barefoot  BOTH ways   Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,  there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it   and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m older, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my  childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you  don’t know how good you’ve got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and  look it up ourselves, in the card  catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! No where was safe!

There were no MP3′ s or iTunes! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’d usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car We’d play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone cause that’s how we rolled dig?

We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!

And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! When I was a teen we got a box that played ping-pong. We could only play it for about 20 minutes a day, as Mom or Dad wanted to watch TV, and there was only one in the whole house.

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was  on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL  WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove  Imagine that! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy

You’re spoiled You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in the 1970’s or before!

Regards,

The Old School

  • bayguy56
    When I was a Kid is a winner. What a hoot. You forgot to add one, very important thing - When I was a kid we had like three channels, ok four, if you count PBS which I don't. ABC, NBC and CBS. When the prez had a press conference, you were screwed because then there was NOTHING else to watch. Oh yea, stations actually signed off the air in the early morning hours. National anthem, then zip....bssshhhhhhh...nada. Get up at 3 a.m. cuz you couldn't sleep and I mean there was not even a blank screen or color bars to gaze at.
  • I did a little fib too. My parents didn't actually have a phone. I had to either go to the public booth along the street, or to my grandparents house next door to use theirs.
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